My Places December 18, 2008

I’m free .. I proclaim uselessly

My soul in torture.. can’t find a way

To break through this world of body language

I fee my illiterate fences

Fancy cars.. I find it an impossible task

To memorize all their trade marks

As shining jewelry obtained

By scrambled mannequins ..

Signed with figures terminal..of sounds

 

In each struggle to approach

I fail.. can’t find a way to crawl in

Crowds talking about initiatives

Making up colors ..shades of white

Skulls wrapped in camels hair .. wigs..

Walk certain of their beauty..

Like swans.. never realized how soaked

Stroke to that beyond

I keep distance

 

……and I.. too poor always been

 and tired..

Of playing roles never mine

Such a big difference to that place

Where I belong.. to my heart..

My own music I conduct..

Here where I tasted adornment

And ornaments..of my own

Don’t ask me to jump over there

Where it’s tasteless and tactful

There where I do not belong

At weddings..

At funerals..

At grandhills hotels..

And mines..and cages..

At zoos.. and manuscripts

 

Take me to sonnets

Take me to wild ranges

Take me to your rage

Take me to your jolts

To your lightenings..

Under the pillowed tree

Inside my cocoon heart

I feel safe..in wait..

for my final release..

 

 

 

 

Transcending and Ascending.. in endless simultaneous exchange December 1, 2008

 transcend and ascend simultaneously

Promptly, punctually without any delay

The earth arms are here to welcome your matter

Transfer your irrational diseases through my trunk

Let it all be buried into the soil

The soil of our decomposed ancestors

Enriches our leaves.. our enchantments

Our melodies.. our hymns

Strengthens our faith..

Fastens our strength

 

And we rise up from death to life

Head- up.. arms opened, eyes closed

with a smile..  we receive the rays..

We get carried away.. silently

We believe we exist,

In our existence…

The faith of some God,

Whose word is sacred..

Thus are our words..

Shall be prominent

When the flesh is exterminated

Echoes of the heart will always remain..

 

 

 

Mich

 

 

 

 

 

 

The monster who forgives November 28, 2008

At first it was a hit on my back

Anger has been visualized

Developing.. encountering

The whole.. of me

Arising from the dead

A monster in a flesh

I huffed and puffed

Swore and threatened..

A lifetime avenge..

 

In time, at a sunrise..

With a bird singing..

With a friend’s smile..

Meeting with My child’s eye..

The consent.. finding a lullaby

I am yelling at myself now..

Swallowing all the self-blame now..

….Kicked anger outdoor…

Gathered myself back..

Avenge fades away.. dies

Empathy rules the state..

Reminding me :

“we are all alike” ..

.. In diving lessons..

.. In life as in death..

I am a hitter too…

I recall…

 

 

….

I get up on my feet ..

Forgive..

I need to march on

Head up high..

eyes melting into the sky

 

Portrays November 28, 2008

Dysfunctional traits

Inhibit our portrays..

 

A fish  on  haze

a struggle for change

a murmur .. in the horizon

an echo…

unlocking sounds and games

 

 

 As she lands

.. everyone in her memory..

An image of her face.

 

Envy me November 21, 2008

Envy me..for scars and remaining traces

From our last passionate embraces

Remaining of your unborn kids dwelling in my womb,

Swimming affluent in my stream,

Looking passionately for a unifying field ,

Envy me, for the bruises and wounds on my knees,

And sculptures of flames delicately carving by brains..

People kneel for the intentions to pray

I knelt to worship our moments of ecstasy

Two bodies in one soul merging astray..

 

I’m to be envied by all strange faces..

Loosing their way to such traces

Labyrinthe November 17, 2008

Suck my dreams
Sink my tease.. if you wish
Swallow me..
Adapt me..adapt my memory..
If you could
Convince yourself I’m a puppet..
Your puppet
An ant in a colony
marching in search to proclaim..
what? a glance?
A sip in a marble..useless and in vain?

The truth?
fallcay of molecules
Scientific proofs..devastations

Did You ever think I would believe?
that I could possibly proclaim?
to adopt words..
In education and dictionaries..
like honor and loyalty?
what two awkward fools..
many are..words to be castrated
in tribute to Darwin and Breton
my favorite animator remains..
my trips to..
your brain molecules..
and my adventures in your labyrinthe.

The Rythmic Dances May 21, 2008

Watching You dancing slow at the rhythmic blues of the breeze,

Going insane at the beat of the wind

Naked, shining all your wits under the sun

Showing it all proudly to me..

Shamelessly, careless about perseverance

And all its submissive children

Free and madly in love

I run towards You..climb into your arms

Look up for your enormously erotic branch

Entering me up… I dig it all in, spin it around..

We would dance..about life

At the beat of pleasure crowns

Envious disastrous and destructive empires

Chaotically troubled

A dance of all elements

We burn our desires alive

Inhaling all spells of burnt

witches and wizards

embracing their yells

revenging the suppression

our hair flees away of the head

spitting out melodies of imprisoned men

calling for freedom

enslaved generations in cages

 

I would be named after some mean witch

Once lived

And You would be the invader of the thrown..

I don’t know May 14, 2008

“I don’t know”  … such a beautiful expression..

humble and clear, warming and friendly…

appeasing the mind soothing the wounds..

the sight of the blind it is..

with its shining strays burn..

so I have to put on my sunglasses forbearing it..

dragging me to be a nomad..

I never want to be satisfied in laying every night in the same bed,

But keeps moving on..in places,

Never one pillow to lean upon,

But a bird posing for an instant on the ground,

Picking up straws from here and there

Building its nest, hatching eggs and..

Leaving it up to be destroyed by nature,

With gratitude,

Carried by wind to other lands for other purposes,

Some of the straws worn out, as corpses dried out,

To be dissolved.. thus reused ..

All are significant deeds.. attitudes..

Manners ..thrown into the ocean of life

With no regrets..

For life, death is always there..

Awaiting to nourish it..as we nourish each others..

 

“God bless You”, “thank You”

Uttered words unconsciously..yet meaning deeply

The essence of existing .. is needing each others..

 

“I don’t know” is just a naked adventure..willing

To wonder around..everytime a “knowledge-man”

About “the truth”  proclaims..

 

 

Mich

In her bed May 14, 2008

In her bed, loneliness appreared as a genuine thought, a desire of him..manipulating her mind, playing hide and seek .
Strings of passion streaming from the mind into her body islands and bays.. provoking uncontrollable hurricanes.
Endless filaments.. fragrances of his desperate hunger for her love,
memories of their last unity,
blackmailing her everytime she uses reason and rational thinking as weapons to end up her yearning..testing her sanity..
syllables of his name enjoying strip dance.. a very primitive dance..throws all calculations and revives mysticism..

In this bed.. where she has been spending nightmares of unachievable goals..thrown all in social bins..
faded visions and their deseases..
illusions and fantasies of him spreading roses all over her bed sheets..

In her mine where she explored every curable precious stone of her ..she hid the most valuable carefully from sight, her secret love from the other glittering diamonds, in dark stones..
She knew..ironically that the secret of the universe hides in the blackness that surrounds the shining stars, this darkness, is what reflects, thus evaluates all their beauty.. whereas people were attracted to stars, the magnetism of the black hole pulled her hypnotically towards him.. this black hole is only him..that gravity has been always towards him..
Resisting seems useless..it lasted for decays..built up slowly like old shells meant to protect their host..but he came along, and with a single stroke.. it was all broke..
her flesh surrenders to his overwhelmed mind….
His hair helps him to caress all the pain he sees by his eyes..in her eyes..

In her bed, she is depending on his axis .. dividing her chordes..bounded to his multiple images and their reflections upon her.. She worshiped that axis of his..with all its power that aroused her to ectasy..
In her bed, she dreamt and yelled and yearned.. with all her witchy powers she could drag his soul to hers.. Join them into flesh and breaks all rules, all theories and dogmas..
No science could explain it, no religion could sustain it..their union has broken it all.. and digged hollows .. new paths to the unconsciousness.. But it was all real now.. as God created flesh out of a thought.. she managed easily herself to create her love scene..in the obscene..
Her hands were pushing his body with determination..to hers.. They were actually making love..it was not at all a dream but all real..

Blessed are the shining stars..but the joy of their sight is momentary..
Blessed are the headlines that emphasize legendary stories..but they are still words..
Blessed are the memories who fill up the blank between the lines..

The moment speaks of itself now.. as a narrator, a witness and a main character..I always fainted at the ectasy gate.. thus loose it all in …. moments……..and hand it all willingly..to authors who recreate..glories and legends.. to humanity..in need of hopes and dreams..
Of “HIM” and “HER” and the immortality in their love.

It’s okay to feel okay May 2, 2008

I was repeating myself this morning like every morning. Convincing myself that I was okay.. before I discovered the game I play on myself..before I break the rules and admit that NO..it is not okay.. I was only clicking and pushing that button again, squeezing that nonsense “OK” to fit in my mood forcefully..thrusting it through my overcrowded stimulus.. When, all of a sudden appears the anguish on my door, well dressed with an empty smile to be noticed and recognized. It was prominent among all the rest of the feelings, yet denied brutally by myself and expelled further to a deserted anonymous island.

At his sight, I begged for help, with a rising high-pitched voiceless sounds..You were at work, all of You were busy carrying out their daily journals and affairs.. In my intentions not to be an annoying intruder into the world of conflicts You all already live in, I had to strangle tighter and tighter my screams.. banishing my mind’s vibrational echoes..for fear of wavy therapies I had before with You.. I didn’t want to answer Your call, lie again that I’m “OK”..

I looked into the horizon for a sign of divine holy help from above …or underneath..any superior or inferior power would do..but in vain..

I had to endure the long hours, for my children’s return..as it’s my only rescue..and mock of myself, for my failure of being a sincere mother to them..for needing them this time to hold my head upon their laughter, and kiss my forehead as a conciliate gesture. I have the urge to be my children’s child as I am already my mother’s mom.

At the moment, Chaos seems to be my severe governor of my swinging moods..

How coward I can be!  Being a habitant somewhere ,going around the house in constant repetitive cycles never daring to stare at my gloomy hazy bedroom.. the lights are dim and misty. I couldn’t confront that glance where I sleep every night next to my demon..

 

Abuse is just another word.. How can there be a crime with only a criminal and no victim..for the victim has disappeared, vanished, evaporated and not a singular proof it existed..

 

Violent rape is always smoother than a peaceful quiet one.. when someone needs to empty sorrow and resentful agony..to combat with bombastic acts and the receiver is absent .. rape becomes incest.. for the rapist is only raping emptiness of an imaginative victim, another member of his family. The senses flew somewhere else, bounced into the ether released into silence.. murmuring few illegible prayers.. for those are just few moments of miraculous extermination of the whole scene.. I’m so grateful for..

I’m glad I fly to many virgin islands..in such embarrassed hateful moments..

“Excuse my impertinence”.. He applied..

 

I press the button again.. I need to prepare for lunch..I need to complete the role of a devoted mother..no time to be a child again looking for my children’s arms at the absence of my mom’s..

I’ve done it all..all the assigned tasks will be soon over.. it’s…..been always OK to feel OK..